Shiloh Rose Archive

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Mother of 5 beautiful children, friend of books, avid reader, bubble baths are life! I enjoy long walks and hiking, I seek adventure. Writing makes me a better person, I love to share my thoughts.

  • Purple Haze Love

    In memory of Lauren Johansen

    A love that gives you black eyes and ignores your cries

    Who will be their voice?

    It was not a love to die for when the smoke clears, a life vanished a memory of what could have been

    Who will avenge the broken?

    The price paid for justice that does not exist in this purgatory

    How long will the souls of battered women wait?

    Give them a pass, just one more excuse, let freedom ring!

    There were signs but like so many, blinded by purple haze love.

    Tried to leave only to meet an untimely fate

    Ladies guard your heart for life flows from it and once you cross that threshold; you may not escape unharmed

    God help the gentle souls that have yet to break free

    May you find your strength

    I quiver with anger, my stomach sick at the depravity

    Lifetimes of senseless violence

    Who will love women?

    God, no way you created such delicate flowers to be trampled

    A mother’s gift; a Father’s world

    I pray that ladies and men would understand the meaning of love

    You deserve a love that makes you bloom and blossom

    Allow time to give us all wisdom

    Be the love you need

    A hand to hold, alive and free.

    Domestic Violence has claimed the lives of too many beautiful souls, please know you deserve more.

    If you see the signs in someone that you know, reach out and see if you can help. May we all find peace. Blessings to you all!

  • Don’t Worry Be Happy

    How do you waste the most time every day?

    “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”
    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭27‬ ‭ESV‬‬

    These pesky enemies worry and fear have stolen precious’s moments from my life. I often worry about the future, unresolved conflicts, family, and finances. However, I know that it’s unhealthy to spend so much time worrying about things that I often cannot control. Lord knows I need the Serenity Prayer tattooed on my body! “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference.” The issue with worry and fear is that they show up when we are most vulnerable. I heard a sermon that said something like: never get too tired, too hungry or too busy, because in those moments we are walking into a recipe for anxiety.

    However, our culture wears burnout and exhaustion as a badge of honor. If our schedules aren’t full we feel as if we are unproductive. Friends, we all need to prioritize rest and reflection because that’s how we guard ourselves from worry. When we give space for quiet and restful moments with God we get a greater sense of security. I can wholeheartedly say that 80% of my worrying could have been avoided by the simple practice of Sabbath. Six days to work and one day of rest, this sounds impossible at times, I have five children!

    The Bible has many scriptures that beckon us to come away with Jesus and rest. Even good things can lead to burnout and it’s okay to step away and get it together. “And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.” (Mark 6:31 NKJV) Can we all agree to work on prioritizing more rest into our lives? We cannot rewind time, only God can redeem lost time, that’s why we need him so badly! If God himself rested from his work, we definitely should too.

    As you read this, take a breath and maybe even touch your chest and feel your heart: you are alive and have purpose. ‬‬Have a great week friends!

  • If I Give You Everything

    “All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

    “If I give you everything you have ever wanted will you still serve me?” -GOD

    I woke up to this question several years ago, and I thought well how do I answer that? In my heart, I wanted to say of course Lord, I will serve you always but in my mind I knew how often I stray. I admit it! I am the one sheep out of the ninety-nine that Jesus has to come and rescue! The deep realization that we are material-minded and tangible based people, we want to see it and touch it. We desire many things, and if we are honest life can become all about obtaining the next “thing.”

    However, don’t get me wrong, God LOVES to bless his children with their needs and wants! “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps 37:4 ESV) If God wants us to have these things how can they be bad? The question he asks us all is, will we still love him? The Bible clearly reminds us that where our treasures are that’s where our heart will be. (Luke 12:34) Our priorities often change with our circumstances, whether good or bad.

    The question we must ask, if I get that most desirable thing, will I change on those that I love? How many times have we heard that everything was different after someone reached a certain pinnacle in their life? I won’t play like I haven’t been guilty of praying less when life is at the mountaintop moments. As I am writing this, I am on vacation at Disney World, with my husband and our five children, this trip has been a lifelong dream. I wanted this so much and now it’s here and I can’t help but to thank God. He knows the things I desire and he has granted me the ability to have more than I deserve, please Lord don’t take your hand away from me!

    As Lady Whistledown says, dearest gentle reader, please consider my words, keep your heart soft and don’t allow status to define you. Remember how far you have come, relish your blessings and keep your priorities right. Jesus has arms open wide, he gives that we may give and he desires a close relationship with us. The blessings will always be there but nothing compares to the great love of God. Share his love, pray often and give more. A dream is not worth chasing if we do not have anyone to share it with. This trip is a dream come true, but I still wish my mom and sister were here with me. Perhaps one day, we can be together again, that is another prayer. Yet and still, I have come so far but I will never forget what it felt like to get to this moment. Thankful is an understatement.

  • “Welcome to the Good Life!”

    What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

    1. A sense of humor! I have often had to laugh through the journey. Life can be overwhelming at times and a good laugh always does me good.

    2. A congratulatory spirit! Always be willing to admit that you are not the best at something and give credit where it is due! We shouldn’t be jealous of another’s wealth, good looks, job, or anything for that matter! It takes work to keep envy in check but, one thing I found is to be a person that compliments others and be happy to see others win. Your win will come faster. As with any of my posts, God is my sustainer and even the Bible says to be this way! “Rejoice with those that’s rejoice.”

    3. Be a giver! We should all invest our time, talent and treasure into others and the well being of our community! We all have purpose and when we share with others our knowledge, experiences and time we make a better place to live. I have never lacked anything from generosity, in fact I have only found myself in a dry place when my fists were clenched!

  • Reflection

    If I asked you to look in the mirror and tell me what you see, you would probably describe your physical attributes. Perhaps the color of your eyes, the dimple or mole that make you uniquely you. We all are very outward appearance focused but what if we could show others our true selves.

    How beautiful it would be to truly understand a person, and what things that make them who they are today. We are a combination of the things that have happened to us and through us. The most insignificant moments have shaped who we have become. Many times people will want you to separate yourself from the things that have happened to you as some sort of defense mechanism. The impression that we will heal if we don’t allow those things to take root.

    However, I think it’s important to embrace the things that have shaped our worldview. Yes, trauma and suffering are not comfortable topics to share or remember but they happened and affected us regardless. The best thing we can learn is to use them to empathize, empower and help others. The phrase we often hear: “I don’t look like what I have been through” What if you did? What if our scars we hide were more visible on the outside? How would that change the way we are treated? More importantly how would that satisfy the need to hide our pain?

    Look in the mirror, tell me who you really are because I cannot see the real you. Don’t hide and feel shame for our weaknesses. The savior Jesus, died for those very things! Strength comes from enduring through those hard places. Jesus went to the cross and when he arose he willingly showed his scars to the disciples. He wanted them to see the pain inflicted upon him, not for them to feel sorry! He wanted them to understand the kind of love that is willing to take pain for a greater good!

    In John chapter 12, Jesus proves that he indeed is the risen Christ, not by doing magic tricks but by showing that he has the victory over what was meant to destroy him! His glory in his suffering is a reflection, that God left the scars. He rose with all power and yet the scars remain! My friend you may have scars, the smile you wear may not be how you really feel but don’t be ashamed! Your scars are a what you have overcome and walked through.

    Let them talk, let them stare, my scars a reminder of all that my God has brought me through!

    The scars tell a story, but the smile hides the pain

  • Shower Me With Roses

    ShilohRose77©️

    This spring, we decided to clean out our flower bed and get rid of the dead shrubs, and trees that had been there since we moved here. Neither my husband or myself have grown anything before it was fun, but a daunting task. We bought five rose bushes and were given four other plants. We planted them and then mulched the garden bed. The task was fairly simple but as with anything there is a learning curve.

    The first couple of weeks were so hard to wait patiently for the first sign of new life in our rose bushes. We watered, fertilized and check on the daily, and yet no sign of anything. It took at least four weeks before we saw anything happening. I was nervous that we had not planted them deep enough or that somehow they were bad plants. Life can be filled with waiting seasons! We are always try to accomplish the next big thing.

    Finally, the roses began to grow leaves and then eventually blooms started to appear. I realized why people love gardening so much! It felt amazing to see the results of our work! Do not give up on the seeds that you have planted in your own life! We must keep tending to them, and waiting for our harvest. The work God started he will finish! We cannot always see the new growth, sometimes it’s happening deep beneath the soil of our hearts!

    Again I was reminded of Adam, alone in the garden of Eden and God had given him dominion over the Earth. “And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.”
    ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭15‬ ‭KJV‬‬ God’s beautiful creation was given over to our hands to care for and enjoy. This small flower garden, has taught me new skills, a hands on approach to caring for these plants. I felt closer to God working with my hands in the dirt. I felt my God-given purpose being shown in this simple, everyday tasks. My favorite flowers, grown by my own hands has been a wonderful experience.

    Friends, can I be real with you? I lack patience, I want things now! I get anxious waiting at the supermarket in line, I tap my foot and shift from one foot to the other. I pray for patience but when the opportunities arise to show myself patient it can be hard. I imagine that many of you struggle as well. As with my garden, I am seeing the blessings of sticking it out. The greatest blessing of your life may be around the next obstacle. Don’t give up!

    Although I will be the first to admit those prickles sure hurt when I am pruning my roses. I tell myself that this time I won’t touch a thorn but somehow the smallest thorn gets me. Life is full of thorns, a prick here and a prick there. Some pain only grazes the surface while some cut much deeper. Do not let the thorns keep you for growing! These beautiful roses must have these prickles to keep their hard work safe.

    As with pain, it can be a protection mechanism to help us to learn. The rose’s prickles are what keeps humans and animals from easily destroying the beautiful blooms. With time, we can learn to live and thrive amongst those less than ideal situations. “For the beauty of the rose, we also water the thorns.” The pain we carry reminds us that life is both beautiful and yet painful. I will again prick my finger and yet my vase is full!

  • Sacrifice the Lesson for the Blessing

    “Dreaming of perfection, awakening to reality.” -ShilohRose77

    What sacrifices have you made in life?

    I have often sacrificed what is best for what is temporary. I may have been seeking a tangible need, but I was unwilling to wait patiently. I often wanted it now and would skip ahead and end up messing things up. For instance, I despised being single so much that I rushed to get married; without truly weighing the consequences of skipping steps. “You can’t gain anything without losing something first.” (Fullmetal Alchemist vol 18) I can now see, that I was not fully ready to commit myself fully. As Jesus said, “When I became a man I put away childish things”. (1 Corin. 13:11) I held on to ideals and lusts from my former years.

    Furthermore, my husband and I were together for 3 1/2 years before we got married, but I was telling him very early in that I wanted to get married. I had fallen into the guilt of premarital sex, because being a Christian I felt great conviction. However, neither of us were ready for all that marriage entails and the consequences have been detrimental. Now that we have been married for 4 years next month, we are starting to see the reasons we should have waited. Marriage is a beautiful thing when both parties are healed, whole and ready. We both had not let go of our pasts but we clung to each other for answers.

    Additionally, I advise you to take covenant relationships very seriously. We are created for relationship but they must be in the confines that God ordained. I urge you to walk in the ways of God and not jump into situations to please our unruly desires. Although my marriage has seen both good and bad seasons as with all marriages, I know God’s way is best. God’s grace has held my husband and I all of these years, because we were foolish. I am so thankful for his grace and mercy that are new each day!

    Lastly, I said all of this to say that the things that we are seeking, striving and waiting for are all milestones we will reach at the right time for our lives. Do not rush the season that you are in by looking for something “better” or the next step. We should wholly enjoy the journey and the growth that comes from each destination.

  • Prosper Among Thorns

    When I took this photo at a Rock City, I was captivated that trees were growing in this unusual location. I began googling to learn more about trees like these. I learned trees that grow out of rocks have to withstand harder conditions. There is no soils to draw their nutrients, therefore these trees draw from the rock.

    Consequently, the trees roots have to find cracks and crevices to burrow deep into. They must stretch deep into the rock, in order to get water. These trees persevere and even prosper against all odds! As stated “This deep-rooted determination shows us how life can endure and even thrive in the most unexpected and challenging of environments”. (treeplantation.com)

    Therefore, we must always look to nature’s lesson and see how it’s not where we are that always matters. There will be environments that are less than ideal to our growth but we cannot whither away. We must learn to adapt to the harsh conditions and be flexible and resilient. These trees have mastered resourcefulness, by storing water for dry periods of time. The water is stored in their leaves and root systems.

    These trees are beautiful, majestic and resilient; and so are YOU! What are the situations that you are facing that are uncomfortable? How can you continue to thrive despite the adverse circumstances? It’s quite simple, prosper where you are planted! We are often looking for a quick solution to get out of situations that we are meant to flourish in. However, I know how difficult it can be to stay planted in soil that seems unsuitable for sustaining life.

    In the Bible, Paul was plagued by a thorn in the flesh, he asked God to remove it three times! However God, did not and simply said that his grace was sufficient. (2 Corinthians) There is purpose in pain! What we cannot fix on our own, gives us a dependency on God! His strength is given for our weaknesses. Like Paul, we must continue using our talents, skills and stories to create, inspire and evoke faith in a dark world! Faith to believe that like these trees we shall prevail amidst the unfavorable conditions and flourish!

  • A Mother’s Prayer

    May 8, 2016

    It was Mother’s Day, and I was a single mom back then, so I got up to get ready for church. My son was four at the time and we were looking forward to the day. If you have read any of my other stories, I mentioned that my car was repossessed and so I didn’t have a car at this time. Therefore each week I would have to get rides to church on Wednesday and Sundays.

    On this particular week, my friend that was giving me rides would not be available to help. He offered to rent me a car for the weekend and I was so grateful and excited. (Side note: This same person gave me $700 to help me get another car but remember I didn’t want to rely on that because I knew I couldn’t afford another car note. I gave most of the money to a family with five children December 20th, 2015.

    Later that morning, I am at church and excited for the service. During the service they said they are going to bless mothers and for all single mothers to stand. They pass out little envelopes. What happens next still just amazes me. They say we want one particular single mother to come up on the stage. They say my name!! I’m nervous because this is a very large church! The pastor asks me to tell what it’s like being a single mother.

    Suddenly I am on the stage shaking like a leaf, confused but then I find my voice. I tell a little bit of the struggles of raising a child alone. I encourage the other single mothers and I praise God for his faithfulness to me! The pastor turns to me and says “What is a biggest need in your life right now”? I immediately say, “A car”. He says, “A car, why don’t you bring that car in that door right there”

    Hallelujah! What is happening? Little old me, who doesn’t think anyone can see how that I’m struggling to hold on. How many tears I’ve shed and how many prayers that I have prayed. They didn’t see me three days before this having a melt down and telling God I’m done. How I am tired of trying and I can’t keep living like this. That I will leave him and his way and go back to my old ways!

    Thank you Jesus!! This feeling of being seen, heard and the little details absolutely floored me! I prayed big, scary, specific prayers and here was the car I asked for! It was driven INTO the sanctuary in front of thousands of people! I am a NOBODY, just trying to tell SOMEBODY about the goodness of God!!!

    God see you, and he hears you, wait on Him!

    Happy Mother’s Day!!

    Overwhelmed

  • No Longer Bound

    Daily writing prompt
    What does freedom mean to you?
    View all responses

    Freedom for me, has always been to be free from worrying about my family. As a child, I always felt like I was responsible to care for and protect my family. My father would beat my mother and lock her in a closet and leave the house. He would not take me with him, and he would also take the house phone with him, so we could not call the police. When I was eight, they finally were separated, and my mom tried to move on. I thought things would get better after they were no longer together, but it did not. My mother was struggling mentally, and she began beating me. I had a younger sister now and another person I felt responsible for.

    As the years went on there was so much abuse, fighting, and drama that I was quickly learning to suppress my feelings. I began smoking weed, running from God and trying to stay away from home as much as possible. My life was a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs and I got used to the ride. I would take on things that weren’t my problem, cook meals, grocery shop, take care of my younger sister and try and keep my mother happy. The fights between my parents continued even from separate households. My father was trying to do better but he too was still a mess. A few years later my father had another child, my brother with another woman and although I was excited, I felt bad for the life he would be born into.

    As time does, it goes on and now I am a wife, mother and have my own life. I grew up in many ways and renewed my relationship with God. I stopped being as angry with him for my sense of abandonment by him. I realized that he has been there all along, although I don’t understand the things that have happened to me; there is hope. My brother and sister both have a great deal of issues, my brother dropped out of high school, started smoking weed and still lives at home with my father. My sister got on drugs, moved away and stopped speaking to me. My relationship with my family is still very hard, my father and I see each other often, but we still try and hide the pain of it all. That pain comes out in many forms, and that is why I write so much; a way to release. I don’t see my mother or sister very often anymore; it is a place of great grief for me.

    In spite of my tumultuous upbringing, I have accomplished some great things and have wonderful children. However, I often see the blackness of my past, and experiences rearing its ugly head, into my life and current relationships. I still have a way to go in my journey to peace and healing.

    Freedom for me has been trying to live apart from my family’s toxicity and make a life for myself and my children. That part I am still working on because it’s so hard. I know family bonds run deep, and I have carried these burdens for so long. I keep trying to put them down, to stop trying to take on their problems. I often have to retreat away to myself and avoid interaction. I love them all so much and I pray often, that we all find peace. We all have so many wounds that need healing. One thing these experiences have taught me, is that we all have a story; thank you for reading part of mine.