This morning I woke up at around 2am which is not uncommon for the life of a prayer warrior. The Lord picks times when we are the most still, quiet and often vulnerable to speak to us. I rolled out of bed planning to go to the bathroom, say a quick prayer in my closet and go on back to bed. However, the Lord kept me in prayer longer. As is his job to remind me of things to confess, or pray about. I sat there for a bit. Lately, I have been telling him how much I love him. I smile giddily like a young girl when I think of his goodness. Our relationship complex and yet so beautiful.
Do you talk to God? If so, how do you address him? Fatherly, Motherly, or maybe with fear? Maybe you have a sense of awe when you speak to him?
In prayer I have felt a wide range of emotions. As usual it’s based on circumstances often. I can imagine he shakes his head in frustration that we all worry so much! We grab for the reigns as if we are in control! Our plans are often proved futile in the long run! We can do our best, but ultimately life while take you on a ride of twists and turns. The expected and unexpected all happening simultaneously! God loves our dependency on him. He often demands it through the very circumstances we often try so hard to avoid.
I heard a lady say earlier this week, that she is weaker now and that she knows God allowed it. He desires us to truly be like children depending on him for everything. We are capable of so much as humans, and we tend to rather independence. If you are like me, I hate to feel needy. Yet it’s in our neediness that God is truly able to meet those needs. If you have all the answers, and everything figured out; there isn’t much room for God.
This morning I had my own plans of what it would be like in my prayer time. Yet God spoke to me much differently this time. It was just when I left my prayer closet, and I had climbed back into bed. I felt a strong sense to grab a pen and paper. He had something to say, and he knows that I will end up yapping too much if he doesn’t calm me. He allowed me to be in a different state of mind. I was in this trance and although consciously, I was unsure of it all. God knows what he is doing. He gave me a message. It spoke very directly to my heart and I know it’s for others too.
The first thing I thought after it was all over was that I may vomit, from the intensity of the moment. My body exhausted from praying, and being used as a conduit for this writing. My hand felt like it was not my own as I wrote in the darkness, unsure if the words were even coming out legibly. None of this moment made any sense. Then when it was over, I laid the pen and pad down and I felt the Lord tell me to rest. As I laid down, I felt him speaking again. This time it was different yet again I could hear the voice in my mind, but I couldn’t really move. I felt very light, still, and calm. I listened and I tried to have my own conversation back in my mind.
This part of the conversation was strictly about something that I have been praying about for a while now. He spoke calmly and precise. I was relieved in a way, but also stunned. I rolled over after saying a few whispers of thanks and fell asleep. The message was comforting and yet in the natural doesn’t seem like much is happening. This is what faith is though right? Will I trust him with these messages? I have been pondering and praying about them all day. I am a logical person, the supernatural can still feel odd to me.
After so many supernatural experiences, I still try and find logical reasoning! This is where I have to pray and repent for my doubt. If I believe in an unseen God, why would I doubt the methods in which he decides to speak? I mean he spoke to Moses in a burning bush, he spoke to prophets in visions, and he speaks to me often in the night! Oh Lord forgive me, for the times I try and be too logically minded! The carnal mind cannot understand God! Is this stinging you too? Do you need to stop trying to fit God into an explainable box? The creator of the cosmos? The Holy, Divine, Lord of All; are you limiting him?
Thank you Lord for speaking to me and help me to not question it so much! Help all of us to open our eyes of FAITH! Give us ears to hear you Lord. Create in us clean hearts, that can access all that you have for us. I will share the message that I feel is for all believers soon. I want to make sure that I am being accountable to what it entails first. I need to purify my own ways and thoughts! The messenger is not beyond the message! What he gives me will always be for me to adhere to. I hope I can make him proud. I know I fall short so often. You are not alone in your mistakes, stumbling, or doubts, my friends!
Sometimes I get frustrated in myself, how can you have such great faith and still have these deep moments of doubt? It reminds me of Peter, when Jesus allowed him to walk on the water like him. Peter had faith that he could do it, but lost faith quickly once he actually started doing it! Is there something that you have stopped believing to be possible from God? Is there a prayer you have stopped praying? Now is not the time to lack faith! The world is getting darker and darker! We need to be bold and ask for great things! The Lord’s glory needs to be displayed greater!
That is the way that people came to believe in Jesus was through miracles, and bold teachings! We cannot claim to be his followers and not have any testimonies of his miraculous workings in our lives, or those we come in contact with! Faith without works is dead! People are waiting for the light we have to be turned up a notch! I am preaching to myself right now by the way! It stings my heart to know how often I sat on my light. Sometimes I was ashamed, embarrassed, or simply too prideful. Woe is me!
I hope that you will light a fire, in your own faith. Ask God for bigger, greater, and believe deeper! Ask for the faith that moves mountains! Stand on the water with Jesus, and ask for legs to walk! This world needs what you have, don’t sit on it! Live out loud, live on purpose, with passion! Ask God for your mission! Not one living soul is without purpose! Even the evildoers of this world have purpose! They make our light exist! They give us battles to conquer! Satan cannot defeat the children of light, but that doesn’t stop him from trying!
Get your faith back! Step out from the shadows! Speak up! Show up! I pray you all have a wonderful week! God bless & Happy Reading!
SCRIPTURES TO MEDITATE ON:
“And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?””
Matthew 14:28, 30-31 ESV
“And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.”
Matthew 21:21 ESV
“You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me, and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.”
Psalm 17:3 ESV
“The word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: Write in a book all the words that I have spoken to you.”
Jeremiah 30:1-2 ESV
“For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.”
Romans 8:7 ESV
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