Shiloh Rose Archive

The journey to the Promised Land.

In the Bible, the wilderness—called midbar in Hebrew—means an untamed, empty place of danger and scarcity where God tests, humbles, and meets his people.

The children of Israel had been enslaved to in Egypt for four hundred years. They had been told for generations through prophecy that they would be redeemed and set free. They had long forgotten to keep hope alive! Finally Moses comes on the scene and leads them out with shouts of JOY! The entire process was scary and stressful getting away from Pharaoh and his cruel oppression. Moses himself I’m sure wanted to give up because Pharaoh was not wanting to let them GO!

Freedom intimidates people! So often people come accustomed to you being a certain way and seeing you set free irks them! The children of Israel felt abandoned by God for so many generations they had adapted to their life. They had accepted it as permanent. I am getting a divorce after being in an abusive marriage for almost ten years. I can admit that I had in a lot of ways lost hope and courage to leave. It was like a shift came in my mindset one day and I said “ENOUGH”! I know God was making me feel that longstanding discomfort in that relationship. It had long expired.

My loyalty, love, complacency, and fear kept me far too long. I had truly hoped that God would save the marriage. I have come to see that I must break free because the abuse continues even during separation. The children of Israel, had developed a stubborn, slavery mindset that required time to be dealt with. God was completely ready to take them into the land he had promised them but they had to be ready! That’s why this story resonates with me so much. Am I ready to let go of the past and take hold of the future? God is patient and long suffering.

God’s people were not ready to receive what God had for them because they clung to the old life. They lacked faith and trust in God. He took them the wilderness path to their future, it took forty years for them to get prepared and many did not make it! Many of the older generations died during those years. Lord don’t let me stay stuck in old ways. I am clinging to you Oh Lord! To leave everything you know behind, it takes your mind, body and spirit on a real ride! God is so faithful though, he has been working on my heart these seven months. I let go of family, friends, and whoever stood against my freedom!

I know the love and prayer of friends and community have truly helped me when I wanted to run back to my EGYPT. I admit that I would have went back had God not drawn the boundary line! Thank you Lord, when we stop fighting what is progressing we truly see the beauty! My heart has started opening in ways I never really felt before. The children of Israel learned the hard way many times. However I see joy in the wilderness despite the hardship that it brings! I gleaned over this story to learn from their journey. I want to know God more deeply and help you to understand his love too!

JOY IN THE WILDERNESS: (Takeaways & Reflections)

• The children of Israel sang for joy as they left. (I admit when I left my relationship, I felt guilty a lot for feeling joy!) “Then Moses and the people of Israel sang this song to the LORD, saying, “I will sing to the LORD, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea.”
  ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭15‬:‭1‬ ‭ESV‬‬
  Sometimes we are so used to bad things we forget what true joy looks like!
• They didn’t immediately get led into comfort and ease. You think why would God allow them to suffer more? They had been treated poorly already! He did this to build their endurance, trust, faith, and to discern God’s voice. These seven months have been the hardest of my life! Many nights I was scared of how we would survive this! However the Lord continued to lead me into his bosom. I wrestled to hear his voice, I fought to stay in his word! I pressed my way into community for support even when the shame and grief almost killed me!
• The wilderness will teach you to rest on the Sabbath. Sometimes you can fight all you want to change something at it still be the same! God is asking you to rest sometimes. “And the LORD said to Moses, “How long will you refuse to keep my commandments and my laws? See! The LORD has given you the Sabbath; therefore on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Remain each of you in his place; let no one go out of his place on the seventh day.””
  ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭16‬:‭28‬-‭29‬ ‭ESV‬ Rest is HOLY, it’s a sacred time that we can reflect, meditate, worship and rest in God’s love and care. This one is probably the hardest for me! Rest on the Sabbath proves we trust God to provide!
• Trust in Daily Bread: There are times of plenty and abundance and then sometimes God takes us into a season of just enough! You have enough to get by but it’s tight and it can be uncomfortable! My husband kept all the main items of furniture to punish me. I’ve not lived like this in many years and yet I’m learning that it wasn’t his control that kept it this way. It was God teaching me not to depend on material things. I lost so much weight that I had no clothes! I would have to buy little bits at a time, money was tight! Sometimes food was low but we always ATE! My God is true to his words! Doors shut for resources because sometimes you gotta learn to suffer well!
• Joy will return!! In my class the other night at church they circled me and prayed in tongues over me. They began to speak prophecy over me. They told me that my joy was returning! I was covered by a large hand and that I was oily!!! HALLELUJAH! They said the anointing was flowing down my face. They said they could feel the heaviness upon me as I wept. However they all agreed that it was being lifted! They said they saw a meadow of joy for me coming! A place of peace, rest, soft grass, and nourishment. “And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.”
  ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭51‬:‭11‬ ‭ESV‬‬
• Sometimes we break God’s heart. He has to punish us to get us to understand. We are his “Segullah: Hebrew word meaning: Treasured possession, set aside property! If we learn to obey we gain more than we could imagine! “‘You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine;”
  ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭19‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬
• “In the wilderness we practice being garden people.” -YouVersion
• I dreamed in this wilderness of my own that I was planting with a tool. It was like a stick that broke up the ground and I was sowing seeds. While I was working so hard and feeling frustrated because the ground was hard and dry. My husband was deliberately not helping. He was riding around on a lawn mower! Ready to cut down anything that would come up! It takes work on our part to reap the blessings God has for us! We need to be with someone that will help us sow and reap! In the dream my daddy was there and he was sort of watching me work and he acknowledged how hard I was working!
• We need to learn to mature and depend on Jesus. I’ve also learned to depend on others which can be hard to be vulnerable and open. We have to learn to discern who is for us and who is not. Community is where growth happens. The wilderness is much worse alone.

The long, hard years are becoming more sacred to me. I am learning to appreciate my story. It is full of God’s provision, faithfulness, and my own resilience. He taught me to love myself in the wilderness. We cannot truly love until we know his love. We cannot truly love until we are comfortable with our light and darkness! We hand it over to Jesus the redeemer of all! The wilderness will last as long as you allow it! Stay faithful to God, learn what he teaches, and love your way through it!

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