Shiloh Rose Archive

VALIDATION ADDICTION

Being addicted to others approval, has harmful impacts on mental health, relationships, and self-esteem. I can be the first to admit that I have struggled with desiring all too often to be liked and approved by people. There has to be a deep sense of knowing who we are despite if other people validate you. The issue with our society, is that we all are seeking to be approved by the wrong audience. God wants us to follow him, not the trends of the ever-changing world. If you base your decisions and life on what other people think of you, it will cause you to walk someone else’s path. What God has for you may be unique, uncomfortable and different than the social norms.

“Are you sacrificing who you are because you’re addicted to approval, worried about what everyone thinks?” -Joel Osteen

Signs of Approval Seeking Behavior (Sourced: Choosing Therapy.com)

1. You struggle to form your own opinions
2. You have trouble saying no
3. You apologize too much
4. Low self-esteem
5. Constantly putting others needs above your own
6. You go along to get along
7. You feel anxious about what other people think of you
8. You attempt to control others
9. You try and present yourself in the best possible light
10. You are terrified of rejection

Let me tell you friend, we can take advice, listen to wise counsel, and learn from others, but don’t take it to heart so deeply; that you ignore what you know deep down. We all have insecurities, and we need to learn how to silence the noise of others. We don’t wallow in pity and tear ourselves down based on our weaknesses. These perfect images, lives, and stories are what people want you to see about their lives. Don’t take social media to heart, and compare your life to others. Each person has a timing for their life. My timing is not the same as yours, my growth rate also will be different from yours.

There are paths you will walk alone, and may not have the support or approval from others. Many times, that is just a distraction that will paralyze you from moving forward. The doors of opportunity, are not open to everyone; some doors are only for you. The Bible is also clear about not seeking people to approve what God has put in your heart. “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.” (Acts 5:29 KJV). People will always love you when you stay in the metaphorical box that they put you in. You cannot control anyone’s mind and thoughts about you.

How to overcome Validation Addiction (Sourced: Choosing Therapy.com)

1. Go with God. (Led by the spirit of God)
2. Be more assertive. (Practice expressing yourself better)
3. Learn to set boundaries. (No, is a powerful word)
4. Seek approval from yourself first. (your values, beliefs, moral code, intuition)
5. Limit social media exposure. (Take breaks regularly)
6. Learn self love. (journaling, affirmations, healing)

Listen to the voice within. God has called each of us to certain things. There are people needing you to walk in your uniqueness and live your truth! They will need the words of wisdom, your personal accounts, testaments of faith, and your help. We can impact lives greater when we are our true selves. You are not a clone, there is one you! Take the high road, live with integrity.

Many people who are creatives, they get caught up in what is trending, what sells: therefore they dilute their work to fit society. God gives us messages to share, and sometimes they are hard to say. We cannot water down the message, or filter it to fit social norms. Break out of the mold, some people will not approve you anyway. God is the one we should be living for, and audience of one. Hold your head up, you are special and loved! Your true identity is found in the creator that made you! You are not just another number. I challenge you to get in God’s word and see what he has to say!

Let me help you here are some affirmations from he word of God:

5 Scriptures That Define Your Worth:

1. You are beautiful. (Psalm 45:11)
2. You are lovely. (Daniel 12:3)
3. You are loved. (Jeremiah 31:3)
4. You are special. (Ephesians 2:10)
5. You are chosen. (John 15:16)

STOP 🛑 Living for LIKES, COMMENTS, APPROVAL!! I know it’s hard but WE can do it! Let’s be authentic and genuine!

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