Shiloh Rose Archive

I would choose to be an angel on dispatch for God.

Just like this sweet lady that came at just the right moment. I woke up to see that Mez read a bunch of my blogs and was touched by my stories. I wept as I read her beautiful comments. Mez had no idea that I asked God for a sign, that I needed some encouragement! God sent her to speak life to me, to tell me to keep going! Her words spoke right into my darkness and pain. The words shone a light that this is how I heal and recover! I keep showing up, sharing my thoughts and the process. Friends the kindness we give out you may never know the impact that it has on someone’s life!

After seeing her comments, I went and read some of her blog posts and I wasn’t shocked to find a kind, gentle soul. She writes poetry and shares the hope that she has, we have the same mission but different stories. The same Father (GOD), but different paths to walk. I encourage you all to be like that for someone! Champion each other on, let’s not get into our ego and pettiness. We all need a pat on the back and a clap once in a while! Please if you enjoy my writing go check out hers at

http://shehathwings.com She is not the only one that has blessed me through what I thought was an insignificant blog page. Many of you have inspired me so much! The world needs more kindness!

First let’s go back a bit, last night I was so anxious and sad. The grief clinging to my bones tighter than the jeans that I was wearing. In this season, God has been challenging me to grieve what I thought my life would look like and embrace what he is creating it into. I have been through a great deal of abuse from sexual, physical, verbal, etc.

It started very early in my life the feeling of being utterly alone. I couldn’t really tell anyone all that I was dealing with at home, school or anywhere. I learned early on that if I stayed quiet, and did as I was told I could bear it. Or so I thought, I never wanted to be a burden and yet I often felt that way. I grew up life moved on and I had lots of ups and downs. Life has been a series of highs and lows, but I ALWAYS had faith! I don’t even know where it came from really!

I believed in God long before I even understood why. He had been my anchor through the storms of my chaotic upbringing. He always let me know he was there in various ways. He would send dreams, songs, words a of encouragement from strangers, strange and unusual blessings all to draw me near. I would draw close and then would retreat when life got hard. I was always so afraid of everything! I would have to work myself up to do the things that deep down I really wanted to do in spite of my fears. I know now, that fearful side of me comes from my broken childhood. However God has always been so patient with me as I mature.

Last night I had to run some errands, I was feeling okay despite this sadness. I went about my day but then the attacks came and I felt the discouragement, loneliness, and the pain so heavy in my body. I began to cry and felt awful for being so weak. I wanted to talk to someone, but as I scanned my phone contacts I realized that I had no one that I wanted to talk to. I felt that deep wound of rejection come in like a flood. I prayed out loud until the storm passed. I felt calmer and relieved. I talked to my son and he gave me a big hug. “It’s gonna be okay, mom.” We laid down and watched tv together and it was a decent evening.

When I climbed in my bed I prayed and cried some more, as I began processing more of my feelings. The trauma I ignored for so long showing up demanding answers! These feelings buried deep inside are needing a place to go. I asked God for a sign that he was with me and could hear me. I know it seems so foolish but that is the life of a child of God, sometimes he feels distant. I went to bed and tried to think positive. I woke up early and was annoyed that I couldn’t sleep in a bit! However, I knew I had to get up and do what I can do today.

I WILL GET THROUGH THIS SEASON and while I’m going through I will reach back and grab someone and bring them to the other side with me! I will be the light in someone else’s storm!

May God bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you! All rights reserved ShilohRose77©️