Shiloh Rose Archive

The best gift I ever received was a brand new typewriter! I was spending time with my granny and I would go out and play. One day as we were outside, I supposed that she introduced me to her neighbor Diane. I can’t remember the initial meeting anymore. I just remember loving to go a couple of doors down to visit Diane. I remember her so vividly she was such a sweet woman. She was middle aged, and she lived alone with her two cats. I can still see her face and hear her voice in my mind!

Diane was a tall, slender woman with large teeth and a bright smile. She had this high pitched, nasally voice and kind eyes. She wore her hair short with her soft black curls. I thought she was so cool! She had a very modern looking home, she had art, lots of books, and just a quirky vibe. That was just who she was a woman that loved simple things but had great taste! Her home reminded me of one of those hipster bookstores that you see nowadays.

I would love to see her right now, I could use someone like her in my life again. A kind, gentle soul and like me, a little misunderstood. Diane wasn’t married, and didn’t have any children. I cannot remember as to why. She seemed content with her simple, quiet life. Diane had a child-like way about her that really drew me in as a young kid. I was ten I believe when I met her that summer. As time passed, I would bring my two cousins to play there too! She would give us snacks and watch us play in her yard.

Diane’s house had this garden like feel to it because her small house was set off the road and enclosed with a large magnolia tree. This tree was massive, I can still smell the sweet smell. At times, the smell was overwhelming. Her yard was completely fenced in and she had all kind of plants. I remember one day telling Diane that I like to write stories. I really don’t even recall her response. One day she asked my granny if she could take me shopping. We headed off to Pier 1 Imports and she bought me a sunflower photograph and then we went somewhere else and got the typewriter.

I really couldn’t be more excited! I never even used a typewriter but she knew that I needed something! I have always used writing as a way to process my emotions, learn, teach, encourage, and inspire. Diane gave me the best gift, a dream to chase. I would spend hours typing away. I wish I had some of those stories but that’s okay. The point of that summer was to encourage me to be who I am. My parents really never understood my gift. They both were amazed at it but didn’t really foster it. My mom always helped with my love for reading, but writing I think was just not something she knew much about.

The typewriter was electric, light grey, and it had those replaceable ink cartridges. I felt so cool and important using it and I truly loved every moment that I had it. One thing that she gave me that day, was a reminder that I have a voice. When we write it is our thoughts, intentions, feelings and hopes. I think I stifled my voice many times in my life because I felt misunderstood. I think I also learned the best thing about life, that my voice matters and my stories are needed.

As I sit here and think back to those days, I still wonder why Diane did what she did for me? Could she know my deep sadness? Could she tell I was abused and traumatized? I’m not sure if I shared my personal story with her. Maybe she was just as lonely as me. I always felt a deep loneliness because I always felt like an outsider. I wanted to fit in but it took a lot of compromise to get there. I do not fit in because I wasn’t meant to. The thing about my friend is that she didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of her. She was herself and that is so inspiring as I think of her.

The world has a way of stealing our dreams, originality, and soul but those are the things that make us so special. It is a must that we remain true to ourselves. That is a great gift that we have to offer to the world. We need not to be afraid of whom we have always been. I ran from myself a lot because I felt somehow flawed. The greatest things about our identity, it has always been. There is not a point of arrival, rather a moment of recognition.

You are a gift, and I hope that you have many moments when you are reminded of the gift that you are to the world. I pray that you find your people, those who uplift you and inspire you. If you can get a few good people in your corner to support you, that’s all you need. I am so thankful for the friendship I shared with Diane, she was one of those people for me. She truly saw me without me having to say too much! There will always be an urge to over explain ourselves to people who are determined to not understand us. Don’t waste time on that, just be who you are and the right people will show up!

Happy reading and God bless my friends! I am so very grateful for those of you that see me and get me! I love sharing my worldview with you guys and I appreciate your encouragement and shared thoughts. Keep showing up!

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